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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  October 22, 2011 12:35am-1:35am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ]
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"jimmy fallon" happening right [ cheers and applause ]
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>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television
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-- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very, very much. nice to see you. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. everyone is talking about the big redesign of facebook. in addition now to the "like" button, facebook is adding a "listened" button, a "watched" button, and a "read" button. [ light laughter ] a few more buttons and facebook will look like a waiter at tgi friday's. [ laughter ] "ask me about the jalapeno poppers!" [ laughter ] did you hear about this? heinz is releasing new, bigger ketchup packets called "the dip & squeeze." [ light laughter ] incidentally the dip and squeeze is the same technique the tsa used on me at the airport this weekend. they were -- [ laughter ] "just dip right there. there you go, buddy!" [ scattered applause ]
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i don't know if you guys saw this. yesterday, president obama put his hand up and accidentally blocked a u.n. member's face during a group photo. [ laughter ] you got to see it. no, look at this. this is a real photo. [ laughter ] why is he doing that? why is he doing that? if you think that's bad, check out what biden was doing. look at that [ laughter and applause ] like this, totally, he's not paying -- he's not paying attention. hey, listen to this, during a fund-raiser in new york last night, president obama said he was "in a new york state of mind." [ light laughter ] of course, in a year he might be singing that other billy joel song, "moving out." [ laughter ] [ imitates guitar sounds ] ♪ hoping bill o'reilly has a heart attack-ack-ack you ought to know by now ♪ [ scattered applause ]
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check this out. in a recent interview, bill clinton complimented hillary by saying he's never met anyone with a better combination of mind and heart. and then he added -- [ as clinton ] >> now if we're talking other body parts -- [ laughter ] i'm going to need my diary -- [ throat rattling ] oh, yeah." [ applause ] [ laughter ] quit, we're going to bring cameras out there. hey, this is weird, the newly opened ihop in new york city has hired a bouncer for the door. [ light laughter ] yeah, it's a little different
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than a club. if you look attractive and well-dressed you actually can't come in. [ laughter ] why's that? get this. a new study found that quitting smoking can actually improve your memory. which explains why president obama's finally starting to remember those campaign promises he made. it just -- [ audience ohs ] they were good ones. they were some good ones. [ applause ] there's some good ones in there. i liked them. i just saw this. steven spielberg is about to release a biopic about abraham lincoln next year. right, yeah, that's a good way to honor lincoln, by sending people to a theater. [ laughter ] good idea. good --good thinking. appreciate that. and finally, this is interesting. a new survey found that bangkok is the best city in the world for tourists, but it's the worst city for dyslexics. [ laughter ] we have a great show for tonight.
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give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we got a big show tonight, you guys. he's a talented actor and a funny, funny dude. he has a big movie called "moneyball" with brad pitt coming out. jonah hill is here! [ cheers and applause ] she is adorable. she has a new show on nbc. whitney cummings is dropping by! [ cheers and applause ] star of "whitney." it's on tomorrow night. and we have elbow performing for us tonight! [ cheers and applause ] making the debut! that's right. it's time for "'late night' hashtags," guys, here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hash tags, hash tags hash tags, hash tags hash tags ♪
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>> jimmy: these are lists on twitter where we give you the topic and you send in the tweets. so yesterday, i went on twitter, and i started a hash tag called awkward date, and asked you guys a home to tweet out something funny or embarrassing that happened to you on a date. i was watching them come in all night and we got thousands of tweets, which is huge. so now, i thought i'd share some of my favorite awkward date tweets from you guys. here we go. this first one's from @kfmorgan. she says, "he asked me if i could take me back to his place to show me his pez dispenser collection." [ laughter ] that's awkward. [ light laughter ] "there's a tweety bird here. [ laughter ] the only made this sylvester for one year. very hard to get on ebay. lord voldemort here. [ laughter ]
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tin tin over here." [ laughter ] this one's from @cattalks40. she says, "went on a blind date and he told that i wasn't very good looking, but he was trying to get used to my face." [ laughter and ohs ] trying to get used to it, you know? doesn't look like a human face, that's all. [ laughter ] this one from @mbabe29. she says, "at the end of the day, he extended his hand for a shake and said, 'thank you for your time.'" [ laughter ] appreciate that. this one's from @coldplaynut. he says, "halfway through dinner i saw she tweeted, 'wonder if this date is god's way of punishing me.'" [ audience ohs ] yeah. "yeah, i follow you on twitter, so yeah. [ laughter ] let's hope it's not god's way of punishing you."
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this one from @haleysilassi. she says, "finding out my date's dad was my gynecologist. that was an awkward date." [ audience ohs ] "my dad said great things about you! [ laughter ] great stuff." this one's from @legallyfresh. she says, "he took a call mid-date, didn't know i could hear his friend ask him, 'you still want me to call and get you out of it?' he said, 'yes.'" [ audience ohs ] that's just mean, huh? legally fresh. [ laughter ] she is legally fresh. this one's from @rabmd. she says, "had good night kiss, went in house, saw mascara on my upper lip. dude put mascara on his mustache to make it darker." [ laughter ] [ in deep voice ] "i'm 41. [ laughter ] okay, i'm 45."
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from @robinsdempsey. she says, "he leaned over, touched my nose and asked, 'how'd you break your nose?' it's never been broken." [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] "when are you due? you're not pregnant? okay. i'm 2 for 2, then." this last one's from @beeley10. she says, "he played me a song he wrote called, 'keep my bitches on a leash,' and gave me a coupon to dairy queen." [ laughter ] that's awkward. [ cheers and applause ] so there you have it. those are tonight's "'late night' hash tags," and check out more of our favorites. go to latenightwithjimmyfallon.com. we'll be right back with more "late night," you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i wouldn't do that. pay the check? no, i wouldn't use that single miles credit card. hey, aren't you...
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and...an rv step rug. [ cellphone rings ] hello? did you get battlefield 3 yet? i'm waiting online. i really doubt that because it just went on sale, and you drive like my meemaw so i always beat you home with the game. not this time. howya like my mobile man cave? used to belong to a rapper. what rapper? lil' d...zebba...dice? [ male announcer ] rated 'm' for mature. get battlefield 3 at 12:01, october 25th. the fastest way to play is walmart. with smooth caramel and chocolate. ♪ hmm twix. also available in peanut butter. hmm twix. how do i tie a bowtie, again? what's the fastest way to hartford hospital?
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do i need an umbrella in new york this weekend? remind me to call chris when i get home. move my meeting from 3 to 4. what does a weasel look like? remind me to get milk when i leave work. tell my wife i'm gonna' make it. wake me up at 6. play some coltrane. i'm locked out. [siri: i found 3 locksmiths fairly close to you.] [announcer: say hello to the most amazing iphone yet.]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to our show, everybody. as you guys know, i'm a huge fan of reality tv. and i especially love "jersey shore." [ cheers and applause ] i love everything about that show. i love the people. i love the clothes. i love the hair. the lifestyle. it really works out great because, as luck would have it, there's a floor right here, in 30 rock that's exactly like the "jersey shore." it's called the "jersey floor." [ cheers and applause ] it's still -- it's still an office. it's still an office but everything is jersey-fied. there's fist-pumping. there's hair gel. there's a dance club. it's fantastic, and that's why my friends and i go there every chance we get. i'm really excited. here's the latest episode of "jersey floor." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you think you can do this? >> yeah! >> whoo-hoo! >> jimmy: i need this. >> i cannot wait! >> it's gonna be great.
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it's gonna be great. >> boom! >> jimmy: hey, do you guys think it's weird that we keep doing this? >> what do you mean? >> jimmy: i mean, we get on an elevator, we press a button and when we get off the floor, we're magically transformed and we have awesome clothes and awesome hair and we don't know how or why it happens and then, when we come back, we're totally normal. you think it's weird? >> i don't think it's weird. do you think it's weird, higgins? >> steve: no, i don't think it's weird. do you think it's weird? [ ding ] >> jimmy: i think it's friggin' awesome. ♪ >> yeah! >> yeah, buddy. >> do you like the boobs? ♪ >> jimmy: we're on the "jersey floor," baby. i'm about to do. >> yo, we got an "inflation." >> i love juiceheads. >> cra-zy! >> i can't wait to hit the dance club.
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>> these people need to calm down. seriously. >> we're going to the "jersey floor," bitch! ♪ >> "jersey floor" is the most funnest place in the entire world. >> yeah! >> whoo! >> like, if you went to disneyland and you got to ride all the rides as many times as you wanted and then you got to bang minnie mouse. [ laughter ] that's how much fun the "jersey floor" is. >> "jersey floor," baby, party, whoo! wah! [ talking over each other ] >> jersey turnpike, yeah. >> these people need to calm down. seriously. we're hanging out in officeville, all right? this is not fun. >> this is how we do it in the "jersey floor." make outs, three-ways, viruses.
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mtv, baby! ♪ >> so every week, we do a little family dinner, you know? we suck down a little macaroni before we hit the clubs. >> it's like the dogs in the movie. >> what's the dogs in the movie? [ light laughter ] >> my joshie and i are back together. we're so friggin' happy. >> i frickin' love this woman. i swear on my brother's nutsack, i will never break up with this woman again. >> six to eight hours. that's how long i give that relationship. six to eight hours max. ♪ [ talking over each other ] [ whistling ] >> secret time, yeah. [ laughter ] >> bro. i need to tell you something.
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you cannot tell anyone. >> now, josh is a [ bleep ] idiot. [ laughter ] everybody knows j-bro cannot keep a secret. >> i hooked up with druchi. >> yeah, buddy. >> oh, man, yeah. this is huge, yeah. >> whoa. you cannot -- you cannot tell anyone. >> bro, i swear to you, i kept that secret for as long as i friggin' could. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] >> -- so friggin' good. >> josh did it with druchi. >> do! [ laughter ] >> whoo! [ laughter ] >> j-bro, what is it? what, you told them? you told? [ shouting over each other ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ]
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[ applause ] >> well, in all the excitement, i seem to have fractured my cervical spine. [ laughter ] >> it was a wake-up call for sure, bro. i swear to god, there's nothing like one of your bros getting hurt to remind you what's really important. [ light laughter ] you guys want to go to the club? >> yeah! ♪ >> a club a dub, dub, baby! >> club time, yeah! ♪ >> oh, man, the club tonight is gonna be epic. i invited some friends of mine to come party with us. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ laughter ] >> oh, man, i thought we knew how to party. these guys were, like, party on a different level. they were, like, geniuses or something. [ laughter ] ♪ >> i like your hat. >> uh, well, the women in particular had quite attractive, uh -- personalities. ♪ >> hey, you're like a really hot dancer. >> i know. >> i never seen anybody party like that. it was insane. >> whoo. man, that was fun but now it's time to go back. >> wait, what do you mean go back? >> go back. you know, like, when we come here, we get out of the elevator looking awesome like this. when it's time to go home, we go back.
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you guys coming? >> come on. ♪ >> jimmy: see you guys. >> bye. >> jimmy: that was fun, you guys. i'll see you later. [ laughter ] mom? >> oh my god, bennie. >> i'm having anxiety. i was like a pta mom. >> yo. [ laughter ] this is christy. >> we gotta go back, bro. we gotta go back. >> come on. >> right there. >> we're going to "jersey floor," bitch! [ cheers and applause ] >> good-bye, michael. >> jimmy: check out old episodes and behind the scenes footage at jerseyfloor.com. stick around, everybody. we'll be right back with jonah hill! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ for me, bedtime was tough.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. our first guest starred in such comedy hits as "superbad" and "get him to the greek." starting friday, you can see him opposite brad pitt in "moneyball." give it up for jonah hill! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. j.h. jonah hill. yeah. electric -- electric crowd. they're electric tonight. >> you guys are on fire. >> jimmy: you look fantastic, my man. you look great. >> thanks. thanks. you do, too. >> jimmy: thank you. i appreciate it. >> yeah, it's nice. i lost three pounds. [ cheers and applause ] it's very exciting.
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>> jimmy: that's all it is? >> you know, yeah, roughly. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> but it's -- so, it's cool. i look different. i'm a lot healthier. but it's bizarre because people give you compliments. i'm not good with compliments. i know you. you're a nice guy. we know each other. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but, from strangers. so, you know, i'll be at the -- you know, at the store or something. and someone will go, "hey, man, you look great." "thanks." you know? assuming i know them. and i'm like, "do i know you?" they're like, "no, man, but you look great." and it's just like -- [ laughter ] it's -- and so, it's cool. that's cool. >> jimmy: well, you do look good. i mean -- and i know you got -- you got so much stuff going down. you got "moneyball." you got that movie "the sitter" it's coming out in christmas time. that looks really funny. >> yeah, december 9th, yeah. it's a comedy. >> jimmy: that looks good. and then you got a tv show on fox? you sold an idea for a show? >> yeah, i created a -- co-created a show on fox. i'm gonna do the voice. it's called "allen gregory," and that comes on after "the simpsons," which is incredible
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and -- starting october 30th, after "treehouse of horror" episode. and for me, that's a childhood dream come true. i mean, come on. >> jimmy: oh my gosh, it's classic. >> yeah, so, as you know, being on a television show, they send you to this thing called the upfronts, which is where all the network shows get the stars of a show in a -- and they walk out onstage and just wave, and it's really stupid and it makes no sense. >> jimmy: well, yeah, they do it 'cause like -- the advertiser -- they want to show the new line of shows that's coming out. >> yeah, but you just walk out. you just walk out. >> jimmy: you don't do much, no. >> you just walk out and you go, "hey, how's it going?" right? so, i'm like, "yeah, sure, i'll do it. you're nice enough to put my show on your network. i'll go down there and see what this is all about." >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i realize it's like high school. and i'm the new kid in fox -- the fox high school. okay? so it's on fox. they bring you down to this room and they separate you on two sides, alphabetically, by the show. now, i created the show and i'm the voice of the character so i'm the only person there for my show. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> so i'm like the -- >> jimmy: no one can get your back. >> -- dorky new kid. yeah, i got no one to be like, "hey, let's like act cool." i'm just like -- >> jimmy: they're flipping the tray out of your hand -- >> yeah, yeah. "tool, what are you doing?" you know?
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just like, "want to be my friend?" you know? just like -- >> jimmy: -- so sad. >> so i'm over on my side. and i see randy jackson walk in. i'm like, "hey, i met that guy before." 'cause i've like promoted some of the movies on "american idol" and stuff. and so randy jackson walks by and he's like, "big dog, get over here." right? like, really enthusiastic. and my heart's, like, melting because i'm like, "yes, like someone is like on my team here." >> jimmy: ah. >> "cool." and so, he's like, "bring it in." like that. and i'm like, "yes, randy, this is awesome. you're making me so happy." so i'm like, "big rand." and i like, go up like this. and he, like, goes around me, and michael clarke duncan's right behind me from "the green mile," you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: from "the green mile." yeah, yeah, yeah. >> yeah, and a lot of other stuff. >> and i guess -- i guess a fox television show as well. [ talking over each other ] so -- >> jimmy: -- gives him a big hug? >> just brings it in for the real thing, and they're embracing and i'm like --
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and he kind of then sees that i've been left out. and he's behind me. and he gives me the most pathetic -- like this. [ laughter ] "hey, man." like that, you know? [ applause ] and it's not like, you know, like -- like a courtesy -- a courtesy -- here's a little -- "here's a crumb for you, little mouse." you know what i mean? [ laughter ] like, "i'll give this kid a crumb." >> jimmy: "little mouse." >> and so -- so then, on the other side of the room, zooey deschanel and jake johnson -- they're from the show "the new girl," right? >> jimmy: yes, i love her. >> it was on last night. and i went to high school with zooey, so i know her for a long time. so i'm like, "i know her. cool. i'm going to go on the other side of the room and hang out with that crew." so, this woman's giving these instructions, like, "here's what you do. blah, blah, blah." and no one's really paying attention. but everyone's listening. you know, being quiet or whatever, and zooey starts like talking to me, right? and she's like, "how's this, whatever." and i'm like -- i'm like, whatever. i don't want to get in trouble or anything like that. and so i'm just kind of paying attention and she keeps talking to me.
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and the woman goes, "jonah, please be quiet while i'm talking. okay?" [ laughter ] and so -- >> jimmy: you're the new kid. >> yeah, and -- it gets worse. okay? [ laughter ] so -- you guys know this guy matthew morrison? he's on "glee." >> jimmy: yeah. he's the teacher, yeah. >> this guy piggybacks on this woman calling me out. i've never met this guy before in my entire life. he goes, "yeah, jonah, can't you stop talking for one second?" [ laughter ] and everyone laughs. everyone laughs at me. i wasn't even talking to anybody. i was just sitting there. [ laughter ] i not only get called out by this woman, but then this dude from "glee" calls me out. and like "green mile"'s laughing. randy's laughing. like, "ha ha. i'm a [ bleep ] clown. so i'm a clown, you know?" [ laughter ] you know. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's infective. let it out. let it out. >> it's a bummer, dude. >> jimmy: let it out, man. >> it's a bummer, it's a bummer. >> jimmy: let it out. >> i'm, like, all shaken up by
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this. remember that guy? and so i already got it in my head that i don't like this guy, okay? so -- i'm sure he's a good human being. but you don't throw a dude under the bus that's just sitting there being quiet. i never met him before. >> jimmy: he's like a bully. >> he bullied me. he's a big-timer on fox. i'm this new kid. i got stars in my eyes. he's all, you know, he's been to the dance before, you know? [ laughter ] and so, i'm just some -- some movie guy trying to make my way in that world. and so cut to a couple weeks later, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm at some douche-y hollywood party that i have to go to for work, okay? and it's all these, like, lame actors and everything, right? and so, i see this guy, matthew morrison. and he's talking to one of the "gossip girl" guy -- girl guys. [ laughter ] you know. the, uh -- >> jimmy: i know what you mean. i know. chace crawford? >> chace crawford. chace crawford. so he's talking to him, and i go, "they don't see me. i'm gonna get some scoop -- i'm gonna call this dude out.
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i'm gonna, like, bust up his conversation." >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, no joke, they don't see me. i wander behind these two guys, and i'm eavesdropping. and i can't really hear what's going on, jimmy. [ laughter ] i'm trying. i got, like, my ear to the street, and i'm trying to hear what's going on. and i hear -- [ softly ] "something, something, something -- [ loudly ] jonah hill!" and then they both start laughing, right? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is the deal? >> matthew morrison says that. >> jimmy: oh, my god! >> not the "gossip girl" guy. matthew morrison says that. and so i'm the punchline in this guy's joke? like, what? he doesn't even know i'm at this party. it's "blah, blah, blah, jonah hill and then crack-up"? >> jimmy: what is the deal? >> yo, matthew morrison, you better bring your [ bleep ] next time i see you, dude. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, everybody calm down. everyone -- everyone, sit down. everyone, sit down. [ cheers and applause ] all right.
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calm down. that's all right. he's not here. he's not here. he's not here. >> he walked in -- >> jimmy: not here. it's going to be all right. it's going to be fine. it's going to be fine. >> he's watching, jimmy. >> jimmy: right, right. >> i'd like to see him sing his way out of this one, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. he's not going to do that -- he's not going to sing -- [ cheers and applause ] maybe he learned his lesson. i think he learned his lesson. we have to talk about -- >> matthew morrison? >> jimmy: no, i'm not going to talk about -- >> we already talk about him, jimmy. >> jimmy: we already -- we already discussed him. i want to talk about this big movie you have. congratulations, by the way. >> i'm just kidding. he seemed like a great guy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we're gonna edit that out so you never said that. >> the point is "moneyball," jimmy. [ laughter ] that's just the point of all of this -- >> jimmy: let's talk about this movie, "moneyball." "moneyball" is out this week. this is getting crazy great reviews. congratulations. this is like a dramatic
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departure for you, 'cause you do a great acting job but you're in the -- this is the big leagues, man. >> aaron sorkin, who wrote "social network," and steve zaillian, who wrote "schindler's list," wrote the script. >> jimmy: yeah, i mean, if you ever read this book, it's a great book. >> michael lewis wrote the book, who wrote "blindside." benny miller, who directed "capote" directed it. and it's brad pitt, myself and philip seymour hoffman. so, the big thing to walk away with is these guys got to learn a lot from me, jimmy. >> jimmy: no, no, no -- [ laughter ] >> that the big takeaway. >> jimmy: the big takeaway. >> that's the major takeaway from the film. it's that these guys had a good time but they learned something. >> jimmy: no, they did not -- that's not the big takeaway. >> it's the major takeaway of the film. >> jimmy: here's a clip of jonah hill in "moneyball." >> peter brand. >> billy. >> how are you? hi, how are you doing? >> nice to see you. >> good to have you here. boy, you move in fast. >> yeah. yeah, i got here early this morning. >> wow. >> all moved in. >> yeah. >> yeah. hey, billy. i wanted you to see these player
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evaluations that you asked me to do. >> i asked you to do three. >> yeah. >> to evaluate three players. >> yeah. >> how many did you do? >> 47. >> okay. >> actually, 51. i don't know why i lied -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. he learned a lot. he learned a lot from the great jonah hill. "moneyball" is in theaters everywhere friday. we'll be right back with more "late night," you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that can of pledge under your sink isn't just a great way to clean wood. pledge is also gentle on leather. safe on stainless. missed a spot. great for shining motorcycles... wood? come on. it's pledge.
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[ jennifer ] here... this is my world. ♪ this place inspires me to be tougher... to stay sharper... to think faster. they may be just streets to you. but to me... they're a playground. ♪ ...loving you ♪ 'cause i'm alive, i can breathe, i can feel ♪ ♪ i believe ♪ and there ain't no doubt about it ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is the star of her own new sitcom right here at nbc. "whitney" premieres tomorrow night at 9:30 p.m. please welcome whitney cummings! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> i know. >> jimmy: whitney. >> hi! >> jimmy: whitney cummings.
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>> hi! >> jimmy: whitney, welcome. thank you for coming on our show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i know that you flew here just to do this show. >> i did. i flew in from los angeles. don't mean to brag, but -- [ light laughter ] i came in on the redeye. because i have money. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's not what that means at all. >> yeah, no, i have money. that's why -- >> jimmy: that means you have redeye because you sleep overnight. >> no. no, it means -- but it also means, in other cultures that you have money. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] i have to google that. >> google that. you should. >> jimmy: or bing it. whatever you want to do. >> bing it? >> jimmy: yeah. >> bing? i don't know about bing. >> jimmy: bing is huge on the east coast. >> bing is that big? >> jimmy: try it. >> bing? >> jimmy: totally. >> what's happening? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> i came in on the redeye, and i saw maria bello. i raise your michael clarke duncan to one maria bello who i saw on the plane. do you guys know maria bello? >> jimmy: gorgeous, yes. >> -- actress? >> jimmy: "prime suspects." >> she's so -- yeah, she's on a show called, "prime suspects" which airs after my show, which is called "whitney" at 9:30. please watch it or i'll kill myself. [ laughter ] and she was on my flight. and i love her. like, i have a really big crush on her.
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and i had taken ambien, because it's a redeye, to sleep because i cannot sleep because i'm psychologically unstable. [ laughter ] and i woke up, like as the plane was landing, to go to the bathroom, and i saw her. and on ambien. and i was like, the cool thing to do would be to look away really fast when we make eye contact. so that's what i thought i did. but because i was on like the 30-second ambien delay. i was just like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: give her a stare-down? >> and then i was like, "oh, i pulled that off. she likes me. she thinks i'm cool." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: she does not think you're cool. >> yes, she does. she was like, "that girl's a badass 'cause she, like, didn't make eye contact with me at all. she's just got so much stuff going on." i went to the bathroom and i came back out, and i saw her again and i was like -- [ laughter ] and then she was like on to me, i guess. she saw my ambien haze. and she was just like, "hi." and i was like, "i know my next move. i'm going to pretend i don't know who she is."
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[ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> because that's badass. and i was like, "oh, hi." >> jimmy: no! [ laughter ] what's wrong with you? you're a fan of hers. >> and she literally was just like -- >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> and i was like, "what's up?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "what's your problem?" >> can i help you? >> jimmy: "what's your problem? what you staring at me for?" >> i was like, "would you like a photo with me? is that what you want?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> "what's up? what's going on, lady?" and so -- and then when i like cleared up off the ambien i was like, "oh my god! what just happened?" i really embarrassed myself in front of her. >> jimmy: have you talked to her since? >> no. no, no, no. >> jimmy: we're going to send this tape to matthew morrison and to maria bello. [ laughter ] they'll be watching. >> hill: do it. >> i feel like -- [ laughter and applause ] why -- >> hill: you want some as well? >> jimmy: no, i didn't say anything. >> hill: you want some as well? [ laughter and ohs ]
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>> jimmy: no, i like you. >> hill: do your job, jimmy. [ laughter ] go back to -- go back to the interview. >> you're legitimately shaking in anger. [ laughter ] like, legitimately pissed off. >> jimmy: he's had five red bulls before he came out here tonight. he's freaking out. >> hill: i watched a whole box set of "glee," and did pushups before i came out here. [ laughter and applause ] >> i've got to give you one of my ambien. >> jimmy: are you excited about "whitney"? are you excited about this? >> i have a tv show! >> jimmy: yeah, this is huge! [ cheers and applause ] >> i know. it's really weird. it's weird. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. it's really -- >> jimmy: looks super funny. >> it's really, really weird. it is -- it's pretty -- it's funny. and it's a multi-camera show which i think is confusing people. it's shot in front of a live studio audience like this. and people don't -- yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so it's like a sitcom like "the cosby show" or whatever? >> exactly. or "roseanne" or "seinfeld." but people can't understand how humans can be in when you're shooting a show. they're like, "what's that laugh track?" like, they don't get it. you know what i mean? >> jimmy: "whitney."
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do you play you, whitney? >> i play me with better lighting and better clothes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but you play yourself. >> and a much more handsome boyfriend than i have in real life. [ audience ohs ] how dare you! >> hill: i work with her boyfriend in real life. >> first, my boyfriend is his boss. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: yeah, bitch! yeah! [ laughter ] do what he says! yeah, bitch! what's wrong with that? do what he says. [ laughter ] >> hill: co-creator. >> co-creator. right, right, right. got it. >> hill: by me, your boyfriend and andy. >> uh-huh. >> co-creator. >> okay, okay. >> hill: no one's each other's boss here. >> jimmy: hey, no problem, man. we're cool. >> no, we're cool. aah! [ cheers and applause ] >> hill: i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry. oh, my god. oh, my god. oh, my god. i'm so sorry. [ talking over each other ] the bit went too far. >> jimmy: the bit went too far.
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no big deal. the bit went too far. everybody's fine. >> jonah has gone insane! [ laughter ] jonah has gone insane. >> hill: that's just the [ bleep ] -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: stop losing weight! stop losing weight. it's making you angry! >> what is happening? i just want you to watch my tv show! [ laughter ] >> hill: watch "whitney." watch "whitney." >> i just really need this -- >> jimmy: all right. i'm sorry. comes out tomorrow night, 9:30, nbc. let's all calm down. have a good laugh. look, here's a clip. >> hill: watch "whitney." >> jimmy: here's a clip of "whitney." >> do you know what this sunday is? >> yeah, it's our three year anniversary. >> you knew that? we haven't even planned anything. i mean, we did something good last year, right? >> yeah, you took tylenol p.m. [ laughter ] in the a.m. >> i mixed up the bottles and,
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as i recall, you still had sex with me. >> it was our anniversary. [ laughter ] >> okay, i just -- we're going to do something awesome this year, okay? but, for now, you just stay in that bed, all right? because a storm of sexy is going to come your way. [ laughter ] so, just get your umbrella. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. you guys, whitney cummings. "whitney" premieres tomorrow night at 9:30 p.m. on nbc. elbow performs next. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] a smartphone, battlefield 3, and...an rv step rug. [ cellphone rings ] hello? did you get battlefield 3 yet? i'm waiting online. i really doubt that because it just went on sale, and you drive like my meemaw so i always beat you home with the game.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are one one of the most successful british bands of the past decade, and we're thrilled they're making their american tv debut with us tonight. performing the song "lippy kids" from their latest album "build a rocket boys!," please welcome elbow! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ lippy kids on the corner again lippy kids on the corner begin ♪
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♪ settling like crows though i never perfected the simian stroll ♪ ♪ but the cigarette scent it was everything then do they know those days are golden ♪ ♪ build a rocket, boys build a rocket, boys one long june ♪ ♪ i came down from the trees and cursed on cue you were
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a freshly painted angel ♪ ♪ walking on walls stealing booze and outlawing hungry kisses ♪ ♪ and nobody knew me at home anymore build a rocket, boys ♪ ♪ build a rocket, boys build a rocket, boys lippy kids on the corner again ♪ ♪ lippy kids on the corner begin settling like crows ♪
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♪ and i never affected that simian stroll ♪ ♪ ♪ do they know those days are golden ♪ ♪ build a rocket, boys build a rocket, boys one long june ♪ ♪ i came down from the trees and cursed on cue ♪ ♪ you were a freshly painted angel
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walking on walls stealing booze ♪ ♪ and outlawing hungry kisses nobody knows me at home anymore ♪ ♪ build a rocket, boys build a rocket, boys build a rocket, boys ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: fantastic. fantastic. thank you so much. beautiful. elbow! [ cheers and applause ] beautiful. see them on tour october 1st in los angeles. visit latenightwithjimmyfallon.com for an exclusive bonus performance. we'll be right back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ so your policy looks goo
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